R O N I Nammar yasir’s personal blog

Akhtar to Lara.. Are your scared?

The time I was introduced and instantly fell in love with Cricket was such an excellent time for the game, most probably because that time Cricket was a professional sport and players concentrated majorly on Cricket. Now when I look around I see fairness cream models capitalizing on their genes, politicians taking soul credit of a glorious victory, of what was a team effort, priests who engineered the concept that it’s okay if we underperform in Cricket as far as we appear religious. And to join the bandwagon is a new category, introducing.. wait for it..drum roll… ‘Book Authors’ (tada!).

A year back when I switched writing mediums from web to print by writing for a local technology magazine, it made me realize one thing the most: the writing business is not as easy as its generally perceived. Especially if your words are on a piece of paper and you have made an factual error, then it gets really difficult to rectify it. All in all being a writer is not as easy Musharraf and our favorite bowling icon Shoaib Akhtar has made it look.

Following Shoaib’s zigzag career one could picture him in many roles (model, actor, biker, cricket coach, commentator etc) but not as an author. Before the release of the book the only piece of known writing that came from him must be on some autograph or  on Kolkatta Knightrider’s contract form ( ). But he pierced into the writing business like he started Cricket; with a bouncer. Commentators and critics especially on the other side of the border are calling context of the book a gimmick, a ploy to make a lot of dough ($) by telling stories that are far from reality. It would be unfair to comment on the book without reading it. So I will stick to comment on what Shoaib has commented on the book launch and how other reacted.

1. Shoaib Akhtar accused Waseem Akram for ruining his career and delaying his debut in international Cricket.

Now in all honesty Shoaib Akhtar is not the first Pakistani cricketer who came up with such an accusation. Atta ur Rehman, Waqar Younus, Basit Ali, Rashid Latif are the known names who came up with similar claims over the period of time. Wasim Akram might be the most talented bowler in the history of cricket but he didn’t always adapt fair means to enjoy his Cricket reign. Only, if Justice Qayyum’s report was taken seriously at that time or the management in the 80’s and 90’s had the stomach to end dressing room politics, Pakistan Cricket would have been quite opposite today.

2. Sachin and Dravid are not match winners:

“….Vivian Richards, Ricky Ponting, Brian Lara and the likes of them are great batsmen who dominated with the bat and were truly match-winners. Initially, when I bowled against Sachin, I found these qualities missing. He might have had more runs and records, he lacked the ability to finish the game,” – Shoaib Akhtar

Now you don’t need Shoaib Akhtar’s words to prove the mentioned fact, 20 minutes of browsing on CricInfo will statically prove the number of times high performance of Sachin (here, here, here) and Dravid (here, here and here) failed to secure a win for their team especially if they are not playing in India. Shoaib in his interview also quoted the recent England series. There was a joke floating on twitter when the Pakistani team dropped Sachin in the recent world cup semi final, the idea was to allow Sachin to score a century because we know how that turns out for India.

3. Tendulkar was scared of me

“…We bounced the ball at him and were able to unnerve him. I returned to the dressing room that first day with the knowledge that Sachin was not comfortable facing fast and rising ball. He was distinctly uncomfortable against me. That was enough to build on..”

“I bowled (Sachin) a particularly fast ball which he, to my amazement didn’t even touch. He walked away! That was the first time, I saw him walk away from me– that, too, on the slow track at Faisalabad. It got my hunting instincts up and in the next match I hit him on the head and he couldn’t score after that”, Akhtar wrote.

Considering Tendulkar’s God like status in India and in majority of the cricket fans, the above statement is plain blasphemy. But unlike the real life, Cricket matches are televised and easily found on youtube. One of the video that I found gives us some understanding of what Shoaib is talking about.

Some of the other compilations that I found on the internet tells a story that matches Akhtar’s stance.

I know, what you all are thinking. Sachin’s reign over Cricket that longs around 2 decades cannot be judged by a 5 minute video compilation or a book which has controversy writen on its cover. But just because Shoaib Akhtar failed to build a respectable status on media or the cricket world as an individual does not mean that the bowling skills that made world’s greatest batsmen (Brian Lara, Ricky Ponting or even Sachin Tendulkar) ‘thoroughly uncomfortable’ is a work of fiction. The fact that it actually happened some time ago and considering the number of cricket that is being played every year now leaves us with no memory of the last series we watched and enjoyed should not rule out how awesome Shoaib Akhtar once was.

Having said that, he should not have chosen the controversial route to re-claim popularity. It might get him reasonable book sales but not respect in the long term. Wish the book was more about his intense training, his resilient comebacks, his natural speed defying his physical disparities and his not much discussed honesty in a team known for match fixing and related corruption. Commentators on twitter are calling him Zulfiqar Mirza of Cricket but we all know that exposing people is so August, 2011. It didn’t work then and might not work now. Are you listening @iamshoaibakhtar?

Popularity: 61% [?]

At the time when the excited lot at Time Square was celebrating the death of OBL, we in Pakistan were in a state of absolute shock and bewilderment. Like an uninvited guest in a party who’s asked to say a few words on the stage, we had no clue on how to react. A large fraction in the west expected us to celebrate the death of OBL like New Yorkers. Similarly a friend in India tweeted that the moderate Pakistanis should come out of their houses to show their contentment on the death of the Saudi businessman turned Al-Qaeda’s founding daddy. But on the other side of the border we were still chewing on the facts that came our way via western news sources. Contrary to Scooby Dooby Cartoon show, where the evil villain was unmasked in the end; this episode further mystified everything we were made to believe in last one decade.

The answer to why Pakistanis didn’t celebrate OBL’s death came a few weeks after; when a double suicide attack was carried out in Charasadda (taking 89 innocent lives and injuring 140 people) followed by a  drone strike claiming the death of Al-Qaeda militants. So those American friends who are still curious on why we didn’t celebrate OBL’s death should realize that you might have won this year’s ‘Super Bowl’ but like always we have to clean up the created mess irrespective of who comes out as a winner.

Having said that, I secretly wish that Pakistanis would have been banned from expressing on this incident by our pro-active Supreme Court. As only few hours after the announcement of OBL’s death a section of journalists and anchors started referring him a martyr and Islam’s true soldier, who also turned out to be a porn lover (now I know who to blame). But what disappointed me the most was the shocking stance of some of Pakistan’s respectable names including writer/poet/ diplomat Ataul Haq Qasmi (creator of PTV’s classic like Khwaja & Sons) who found nothing wrong in publicly admiring OBL on the local channels. Similarly lawyers, political parties and even citizens in various Pakistanis cities offered prayers for the terrorist who publicly declared a war against Pakistan and its people, resulting in the death of over 3500 Pakistanis (majority of who never supported the US war mongering policy in the region).

BBC radio’s Urdu service interviewed a house wife in Abbottabad who wished if she knew of OBL’s presence in her neighborhood, she would have showed him the well known Pakistani hospitality. From the mood of our nation the Abbottabadi house wife is not the only one who follow this peculiar mind set. In fact I am pretty much sure that she or someone in her family will not mind a US citizenship if offered. Pakistanis who criticize the US policy the most find no problem in living or wish to live the American dream in USA or any prosperous part of the west. I fail to understand this behavior.

Numerous times in the past Islamic states have also sabotaged the sovereignty of Pakistan but we don’t want to talk about that. We trained facilitated and harbored foreign terrorists in the past and continue to do so today even if it proves out to be hazardous for our safety, economy and future. Only because the terrorists claim to follow the same religion or appear more Muslims than we are. Does that make sense to anyone out there?

We want our kids to study and work abroad, to bring back Dollars, Pounds, Euros and foreign degrees. At the same time we find it completely appropriate to publicly display open affection towards dead Al-Qaeda leaders and approve of Taliban version of Sharia in our country. So from what it appears we are either utterly stupid or despicably a hypocrite nation that does not want to learn from its past at all, as if learning from the past was freshly banned by LHC or have been put on the blasphemy list by the local Mullahs. We secretly wish to win a gold medal for our Islamic ghairat, if there was a championship where they gave out prices to Muslim Cheerleaders for showing off their affection for the religion we would have been world champions. If there was a reality show by the name ‘Muslims got Gherat (honor)’: Pakistanis would have voted their hearts out to win the title and we would have easily won it too for banning facebook two years in a row.

But no awards or rewards; religious or otherwise are handed over for absurdity or irrationality. The world is watching us and our growing extremist behavior. The legacy we are leaving behind for our next generation is only going to make them unwanted and disrespected as global citizens. As a matter of fact we are half way there.

Popularity: 41% [?]

New to Cricket? Interested to learn about the teams who are participating in the biggest tournament of this game? Here is my one line description of the cricket teams in ICC World Cup 2011:

South Africa: Once upon a time we were Chokers, now sometimes we lose games in ordinary series as well (im.provement)

Ireland: Murphy Law states; “If anything can go wrong it will go wrong”. Ireland is exactly the danger Chacha Murphy is warning about.

Canada: Product of friendly immigration policy

India: Smugs who can sell fans, cars, hair oil, fairness creams, ointment and Cricket to its audience

Sri Lanka: Better version of team India with an inferior PR

Pakistan: The Usual Suspects… who play for the mafia

England: The new Pakistan of world Cricket

Australia: HOFOA (HALL OF FAMER OVER ACHIEVER), yea I just made up that term

West Indies: Just the cool part of what used to be the mighty West Indies

New Zealand: Decent folks with a license to wear black

Bangladesh: World Champion of minnows (not really)

Popularity: 51% [?]

We live in a society where people insist on labeling every living soul based on their religious, ethical and political association. It helps us judge people. Back in 3^rd grade and way before I started reading the Holy Quran I came to know about my sect. The reason that I fast forwarded to the secondary details before knowing the basics of the religion was of two reasons. Firstly, many of my class fellows were interested to know about how different my religious beliefs were from them. They asked inciting questions that weren’t their own. I wonder who planted those words in their young minds. Maybe their parents or perhaps the Qari who taught them Quran and religious education? Can’t blame the Indian or western media here or can we? The second reason that I had to keep up with the sectarian know-how was a tragic incident that took place in my extended family, when a teenage scout boy was brutally murdered among two other scout boys in a local Karachi mosque. It was just a start of the dark age of sectarian violence in Pakistan.

Contradictory to Imran Khan’s delusional belief, pre 9/11 Pakistan had a record number of target killings and sectarian attacks that took place in the name of religion. Also, the population of Pakistani minority thinned from a good 20% (in 1947) to a low 4%. Not that the remaining 16% converted to Islam or escalating Muslim population outdid the Non-Muslim population in the country. But it was half a century long discriminatory behavior and exponentially growing hate that forced them to move out of this country. When a TV anchor inquired a religious political leader about this trend, he blamed the rulers and their economic policies that have forced not only the minorities but also the Muslim majority to look out for better prospects in other countries. He went on saying that none of the Muslim religious schools in Pakistan incite hate or promote discrimination. He hinted that a religious revolution will bring the change every Pakistani is wishing for. Right!

Revolution this year has ironically become a fashion statement, just like the Che Guevara’s picture on a T-Shirt or the new iPad; “if they are having it, I want one too!”. But if we can actually learn something here  from the Egyptians; its the unity among the oppressed people which helped them get this far. They didn’t break down the protests and selfishly protested as Muslims or Christians. They didn’t even let their political affiliation come in the way of their national interest. When they protested they protested for the rights of every Egyptian irrespective of religion, class, sect or gender. And that’s something we hardly witness in Pakistan. We all are affected by terrorism and exponentially growing hate caused by a group of people over past few decades but still when a tragedy happens, our reaction is relative to social or religious association of the victims. A Shiite is seen mourning for a Shiite only, a group of energetic liberal activists will organize a vigil when the victims are Ahmedi or Christian. Only Bravelis will come out to protest the attacks on Sufi shrines and an attack on girl schools will only be protested by women.

Why a loss should be personally associated or it won’t be endorsed as a loss? Where does the humanitarian activist in us goes when something like that happens? If religious politicians who otherwise go to different mosques to pray can execute a common campaign to incite hate and score political points, than what’s stopping the hate victims?

Popularity: 45% [?]

Popularity: 73% [?]